The dark does not destroy the light, it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows. ~ Brene’ Brown
Don’t let your fear decide your future. Don’t let it shut you down. Let it wake you up! Be daring and embrace the possibilities of what lies on the other side!!
Consider the idea that everything you want is on the other side of fear… could this be true? What are you most fearful of? looking for a new job, starting your own business, going back to school, leaving a bad marriage, finding true love, writing a book, joining a gym??
Our minds are made for fight or flight in order to protect us from danger. The mind is afraid of discomfort, pressure and change. The “comfort zone” is it’s happy place so when we try to break out of the comfort zone our minds naturally try to pull us back in, to “keep us safe”. But this is where the problem lies. Our minds often can’t delineate between true physical danger and fear of the unknown.
Fear has ruled my life for the last 25 years. I’ve allowed it to make me small and keep me stuck. It’s not easy pushing through what our minds tell us we can’t do. I recently challenged myself physically.
A short prelude to this story: I joined orange theory fitness 2 and a half years ago. I was tired, stressed out, overweight and felt like an ultimate failure in my life. The day I went in for my first class I was scared, it was so hard, seriously I likened it to a tequila hangover that lasted all day! I remember many days when it took all I had not to burst into tears and run out. Some days I let myself cry, my mind shouted, “You can’t do this” “Who do you think you are, these people are athletes”, but that still small voice inside of me whispered, “You can do this” “You are a warrior”… so day by day, hour by hour, month by month and year by year I worked through the pain of physically pushing myself and through this process I learned to get control of my mind.
Fast forward to the current “Challenge” ~ the Dri Tri which involves rowing 2000 meters, 300 body weights and running 3.1miles. I decided I would do this challenge not realizing there was a long run involved. I was not a runner and had only started to do a little running on the treadmill over the last few months, power walking was more my choice. I realized the night before the Dri Tri that the run was over 3 miles and FEAR SET IN! My mind said, “What the hell are your thinking?” “You can’t do this!” I was scared! I’ve heard so much talk about getting control of my mind so I decided I was going to give it a test. When I walked in the door of OT that morning I decided to say “F*&# Fear”, I walked in that door believing that I could and would do this! I have to admit the run was hard, but the feeling of victory at the end far outweighed any feelings of doubt or fear that I had felt. The key was pushing the fear out, not allowing it to stop me… “mind over matter” is for real!! There may have been a point of panic as I pushed close to the three mile mark when I questioned my ability to finish for a few seconds, it was at that point and even earlier that friends and coaches gathered around to cheer me on, telling me “don’t stop”, and pushing me to go harder. I’m in tears remembering those moments, because the very hardest most challenging moments are the most endearing and treasured moments I hold in my memory.
There is no substitute for hard work. We must exercise to be in shape. We must eat healthy foods in the right quantities to be healthy. We must focus on our business in order for it to be successful. We must write to be a writer. We must do the hard internal work to free ourselves to have healthy relationships. Any success story is filled with hours of “doing the work”. We need to do work physically, emotionally, and spiritually in order to live our best lives.
We have the power and the choice to write our own story. The choices we make every day are the words that make up the chapters of our lives. You are in control of writing your own “success story”!!
So what if we choose to reframe fear as a good thing, something that pushes us to overcome obstacles. My challenge to you is to “embrace fear” as a catalyst to moving forward, don’t let it stop you, let it motivate you!!
With love,
Jewels