“Take off your mask … and be who you were created to be“
What …..a blog??
Just a few years ago I didn’t know what a blog was! And now here I am feeling like this is something that I am meant to do. Honestly I’m not sure how this will go, or even what it will be about but if you will take this journey with me maybe we can all learn something from and with each other.
So here goes…
My passion is to help women to feel beautiful, inspired and empowered! I mean to really embrace their true and natural beauty both on the inside and on the outside and walk out life courageously, in all they do. I’m not exactly sure why, maybe because I have struggled my whole life with seeing my own beauty and worth. The world has such a skewed view of beauty and I have never fit into the box of what the world sees as beautiful. I suppose the fact that I have always struggled with my weight could be a part of it, in junior high I remember some of my guy friends calling me “ Miss Piggy”, I was devastated to say the least!! It seems that most of my life, all I have done is look in the mirror and despise what I see as my own reflection. As a mother, I know I can’t hope to empower my daughters with seeing their own unique and true beauty if I am constantly battling the voices in my head that tell me, “ your not good enough”, “ not pretty enough”, “ not skinny enough”, “ not smart enough” and even “ you can’t sing”!!
My most recent leg of this journey has been trying to dispel many of the lies I have taken on as truths about who I am and how I look. A few years ago I had a shocking truth, come out of my mouth. I actually said out loud “ I hate myself”!, it kind of surprised me because even though I had grown comfortable with the negative talk that fills my head I had never gotten to the point where that voice spoke out loud! And the most shocking part about it was the fact that I was SURPRISED when I heard the words out loud. “I hate myself”, who even says that!? I’ve heard of people hearing voices, but hadn’t realized that I had my own voices that I had tried to ignore for so long, and now they were taking over in a way that scared me!
I guess for me this was a wake up call. On the outside it may seem like I am a happy person with a happy life, but on the inside my heart cries out to be known, I mean to be fully and authentically known. My hearts cry is to be known, yet I had built up walls of protection that would not allow me to let the real me be known, seen or heard. What was this mask I had taken on as a part of me? It felt safe to be behind the mask, yet I wanted to rip it off…. but I was afraid if I put the REAL ME out there, people may not like that person, I felt trapped in a no-win situation. Keep the mask on and be miserable or take it off and risk not being accepted for who I truly am, with all of my weaknesses, fears, failures, faults and struggles.
I wish I could say that I have won this battle, with the voice in my head, the voice that constantly tells me I’m not enough…. I’m not there yet but I can say my eyes and ears have been opened to the realization that I have a choice… I can believe the lies or I can risk being known…. And possibly rejected. I’m at a place in my life where I think I’m ready to take that risk, to take a chance on being fully me, knowing that there may be times when I will not be accepted, but that’s ok!!
The lies that have been revealed to me have set me on a path to freedom that I am pushing toward with anxious anticipation! Will you join me, take off your mask…. and be who you were created to be!! Perhaps when we live being less than fully ourselves it is like living a life in black and white and who wants that kind of life, I believe we were all meant to live our lives in Hi Definition color!!